Relations to a killer
by Rough Tears
Summary: Jhonen Vasquez RULES! In this little story, Invader Zim meets JTHM!
1. Killer on the loose

Rough Tears: Hey! My first fic! With Zim and Johnny in it to! What could be more perfect?

Shimmy: I can think of a couple of things.

Rough: You're just jealous because you're not real like me. You wish you were.

Shim: I also wish you dead.

Disclaimer: I do not own JTHM or Invader Zim.

To Dib's relief, the final bell buzzed and Dib shot out of the black classroom. He ran smack into the double doors leading to the outside world. He missed the pull not push sign.

He opened his eyes to see the green invader cocking an eyebrow at him. He said nothing just walked out. Dib stood up kind of limping and just said loudly "Yeah you better run…" Dib wiped the dust off of his black shirt. He was about to walk out when he was pushed over and then stampeded by kids racing for the door. One went to soccer everyday. She was wearing cleats.

Dib slowly and painfully stood up and then pushed over again by Gaz who was playing her Game Slave. Dib stood up one last time and walked along side Gaz to continue home.

They walked for a few minuets when Dib finally said something. "You do know that Zim could be in the park. After we get home we could go down." He said. Gaz just looked at him then looked back at her game.

When they got home Gaz turned on the T.V. and Dib raced for his room. Came back with a camera in his hands. "Ok, lets go Gaz(looks at the television) later!" he screams and drops the camera. He sat on the couch next to Gaz.

"Today on Untold Mysteries, there was as man found behind the dumpster dead and drained from all his blood. We tried to get the murder on tape before he ran away, but all we could get was a silhouette."

Dib looked at the screen. "What kind of sick…"

"SHUT UP!" screamed Gaz.

"We have no idea what the villain looks like. But we do have his shape, the fact he has two hairs, and likes blood for a strange reason. Here is an artist drawing of what we may think he looks like. (holds up picture of count chocula(I do not own any cereal))."

Dib looked around the room almost like this maniac was behind him. Professor Membrain in the screen came up behind him. "What are you watching kids?"

"Dad! There is a maniac on T.V.!" Dib shouted.

He looked at the picture of the silhouette. "Oh, my. I know that silhouette anywhere."

Dib looked at him. "You know that guy?"

"let me tell you his story Dib." He said as the floating head flew out of the room and came in was the body.

"You see, his name is so vile and disgusting I should not even say it in front of you kids, but Johnny. His name is Johnny. He was not only my friend. He was my brother. He is your uncle and you look a lot alike son. We got separated when I was 17 and he was 15. We were token away from each other for my protection. Made us change our name and everything."

"So our last name is what?" asked Gaz.

"Well…C."

"C! What kind of a last name is that?" screamed Dib.

"Please son let me finish. We were separated because he killed somebody. Sent us to a new location and everything. I'm surprised we were separated so far. 5 blocks. He still doesn't know we live so close to him. His evil is a big as your head.

"MY HEADS NOT"

"LET ME FINISH SON! So anyway…ok I'm finished. Oh, and I want you to stay as far away from 777 as you can."

Dib understood, but Gaz wanted to see what the big deal was.

Rough: Chapter one is finished. YAY!


	2. Gaz's temper

Rough: I love Johnny and Zim! They are my life.

Shim: Wow, really? Pathetic!

Rough: Shut up!

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

"Come on, get up…. Johnny! Johnny! Get up! It's a new day! Happy!"

Johnny slowly opened his eyes to see Nail bunny floating over his head. He pulled the covers over his head. "Bunny, as much as I hate sleep, uh, let me. I'm so tired from being up all night."

"Thinking again?"

"Yea. I just can't get enough of the stars and the sunrise. Its just so magical on how something can be so beautiful."

"You seem to be an expert in this situation, Nny" said a voice. Johnny looked from under the covers to see the doughboys staring into his eyes. "Go away and let me sleep."

"You say that like you don't like us, Nny. We love you. Now love us back." Said Psycho Doughboy.

"There is nothing to love except us." Said Mr. Eff. "You have no family."

Johnny jumped up and pointed at them. "Don't you talk to me about family!" he screamed.

He walked slowly to the window.

"Name someone you have except us."

Johnny looked out the window. Then looked back. "I can't." he said with a frown. "I have no family and I have no happy."

((SKOOL))

Gaz was staring at the teacher just waiting for the bell to ring. The teacher was so boring and it seemed like the classroom was getting smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller.

And smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller.

"ALL RIGHT ALREADY! WE GET IT TEACHER YOUR BORING AND WE NEED NOTHING UNSLESS WE WANT SOMETHING! AND ALL I WANT FROM YOU IS TO SHUT UP!" she screamed.

She walked toward the door with her books and started for the door.

"Uh, excuse me Gaz, were do you think your going, class hasn't ended yet.

Gaz looked at him in the eyes and pointed to the clock and then the bell sounded. She walked out of the room but ran toward the door.

She was racing toward the door screaming "UNCLE JOHNNY!" when she smacked into the doors. Zim came up to her and looked down. "Can I help you, another Earth Human. Which I am, human, and not an alien."

Gaz looked up at him and put him into a headlock. "What did you say to me! HUH!" Zim threatened to perform combat, but Gaz could not hear what he was saying through the choking. She noticed Dib racing up to her.

"Gaz! What are you doing! STO…oh, its Zim. Never mind, continue." He said and walked out through the doors whistling. Gaz let go of Zim and smacked him across the face and walked out of the doors following Dib.

Dib was heading home, but Gaz took him by the collar and said to him "We are going to meet Uncle Johnny. Now!"

Dib pushed her off. "No way. Dad told us to stay away from him."

"Well Dads not here." She said and she pushed him on the ground and dragged him there, while Dib was screaming on the way.

Rough: I'm sorry this chapter is oh so short. NEXT ONE WILL BE LONGER! I promise.


	3. Telling truth at Johnny's place

Rough: My name is now, Rough.

Shim: That already was name.

Rough: Shut up, I'm thinking.

Shim:…ok

Disclaimer: JTHM and Invader Zim, I do not own.

Gaz stared deeply for a couple of seconds at the house before ringing the doorbell, still holding on to Dib.

(DING DONG AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!)

Gaz squinted her eyes. "That doorbell is pretty cool."

Slowly the door opened and Johnny's head was poked through. There was silence. "Um..Hi. Can, can I help you or something?" Johnny said very confused. Dib stood up not saying award with chills running down his back.

Gaz looked at her Uncle. "We would like to talk to you." She said in a deep scary voice. This voice was always freaked out Dib, but Johnny wasn't amused. "Uh, oh please, were are my manners, come inside." He said.

Gaz took a seat on the couch in the middle of the room. Johnny was amused by her rudeness. "Oh please sit." He said. Gaz snarled at him and looked at the wall and Dib sat next to her.

They heard a scream. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH GOD! AHHHHHHH!"

The kids looked at Johnny. "Uh, be back in a second."

Gaz had her usual look on her face (almost like nothing was going on) and was petrified with gasping breaths. All while they heard this.

"Uh…Uh. NO PLEASE!"

"What did I tell you about screaming. You know I don't like screams." (SQUEEK)

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHH! NO PLEASE STOP! I'M SORRY, I WAS ONLY KIDDING! OH GOES…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Johnny came back up with a hammer, nails and a rubber duck. "Sorry about that."

He drops his utensils and sits down in front of the kids on a box. "So what did you why did you want to talk with me? Dib stood up. "Uhh, no reason, sorry to bother you!" he said and ran out of the house.

Johnny looked at the door and then at Gaz.

"Look I came here because I want to know about, your brother."

Johnny stared at her. "My, brother? Well, I ki…took care of a problem that was bugging me and we never saw a problem again."

"Yes, I heard all of that but what about me?"

"What about you kid?"

"I'm, your niece."

Johnny stared at the girl and covered his head with his hands. "No, you lie! YOU LIE!"

Gaz looked at him. "Uh, no I don't."

Johnny moved so quickly. So quickly, it wasn't until it was on, before Gaz realized she was in a strait jacket.

((SOMEWHERE))

"Got to find help. Gaz could die and I don't know were Dad is. I need help. But the only person with the brains, the technology, the smarts, the stupidity and the bronze (little Zim and Dib Romance there. Me likey slash) is Zim!"

He ran as fast as he could to the far away base that lies were Gaz could be being tortured by her Uncle.

Rough: Run Dib. RUN! YAY! Gaz is finally in a strait jacket! **Throws confetti at Shimmy**


	4. Family bonding

Rough: Dododododododo!

Shim: Wha-what are you doing?

Rough: Singing my favorite song.

"So Nny, you have a niece."

"Go away, I came here to rest my eyes and mind."

"Come Nny, lets not be rude to our guest, she is a little tied up."

Johnny sat up from his bed and opened his eyes reveling Mr. Eff to be in front of him. Johnny scratched his head and stood up. He walked toward the door and opened it. Gaz was standing right there.

Johnny stared at her for a couple of moments until she invited herself into the room almost knocking Johnny over. She sat on the bed and fixed herself comfortable.

Johnny stood for a little bit thinking staring at the girl. He tried to ask this without being rude, but it was impossible. "How the hell did you get out of my jacket?"

She glared at him. "Does that matter."

"Well, I just…damn your good kid. I guess it's in your blood."

"What? No way. Escaping from a strait jacket? I'm surprised I could be related to someone with such low quality to seduce themselves to a jacket. Come one Uncle Johnny."

"Yea…ok…" Johnny just been told by a little girl that he couldn't kill. What was he supposed to say?

"Come, sit talk with me young Gaz. I'll make skettios."

Gaz eyes shot open. "Skettios..SKETTIOS! I love skettios."

Johnny smirked. "Were going to get along just fine."

((Zims home))

Ding-dong

"Hey Dib person!" Gir screamed as he answered the door.

Dib could hear Dib scream from another room. "How many times do I have to tell you Gir, never answer the door without your disguise on!"

Zim came up to him. "Oh, its just the Dib human, what do you want?"

"Zim please I need your help."

Zim looked at him for about three seconds then…"AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!"

Dib looked at him. "Zim please…if you help me…I will tell you the weakness of Earth."

"Ahahaha-really?" Zim said.

Dib took a hard swallow. "Sure, if it means saving my sister."

Dib told Zim what happened and Zim put on his clever disguise. He put Gir's Doggy suit on and threw a collar around his neck, dragging him on the ground. They were off to Membrane's home.

((MEANWHILE))

Johnny and Gaz were starting to get to know each other. They were sitting on a couch talking.

"So Gaz, what do you want to do? I got Game slave 5"

"Uncle Johnny…I love you.." Gaz hugs Johnny. Johnny kind of pushes Gaz off of him. "What are you hugging me for, hug the T.V."

"Right, sorry." She said focusing on the T.V. Right before they started, Gaz took a deep breath and Johnny played with his two hairs.

((MEMBRANE))

Running as fast as he could, Dib ran into the house followed by Zim and Gir. As soon as they went in, Professor Membrane was standing there.

"Dad! We ne-were are your pants?"

"I don't know son, I don't know."

"Ok, well, Dad! Gaz didn't listen! She is at Uncle Johnny's!"

"What I told you kids to stay away from there! Son, get me a pair of pants, were rescuing Gaz."

Zim sat there with Gir just staring at the two. "Look at them Gir, they care so much for this girl it makes me sick! The Gaz isn't that nice to the Dib and yet he still hands over the keys to the entire world. It kind of makes me feel sad…uh, nope it doesn't!" He said.

Rough: Until next chapter. MUAHAHAHAHHHAHAHA!


	5. Squee

Rough: **Staring at a glass of water** Hmm…

Shim: Are you focusing on the glass of water?

Rough: What yea! It's asking for me…I can hear it.

Disclaimer: I do not own JTHM or Invader Zim.

They were up at the wrong door when Dib screamed, "That's the house!"

The team followed on the steps and Zim rang the doorbell.

DING DONG

A man the door and looked at the pack.

"Hi is Johnny there my kind sir." Said Membrane.

The man looked at them blankly. "Who the hell is Johnny? Are you one of Squee's little friends?"

"No, we are-"

"Ah take the little basterd with you, I have no use for him. He is in his room, go into the first room, up the stairs and it's the door across the hall."

They walked in. "Uh, thanks." Dib said following his father who was following Zim and Gir.

Zim rudely without knocking bursted the door open with everyone following.

Squee was sitting there on his bed staring blankly at the four. "Good evening baby human child, maybe you can tell us were we can find the Johnny. If you don't you shall bow down to ME!" Zim screetched at the boy.

Membrane studied the child who was sitting there just staring. "Son! Don't try to stop me, but I'm going to stare into this wall for absolutely no reason. Do not disturb me!" Membrane said turning around.

Gir jumped on Zims head. Get off my h-" "WWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" "Get off my h-" "WEEEEEEEEEEEE!" "Get off my h-" "WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" "Get off my head Gir!" The robot in the dog suit jumped off of Zims green head while ripping his disguise off."

Dib looked at Zim. "Dad! Look, Zim is a alien, this is proof, just turn around!"

"Not now son, I'm very busy." Zim quickly put the costume back on.

"Oh come on!" Dib screamed then looked at Squee forgetting he was there. Squee hugged Shmee really tight. "Are, are you going to hurt me? Please don't let the alien man take me and do experiments on me! SSSSSSQQQUUUUUUUEEEEEEE!"

Zim looked at him. "I'm not an alien those are all LIES! I'm human, yes human, human, human."

Gir zipped off his costume. "ME NO HUMAN!"

Squee looked at the tiny robot. Gir jumped on the Squee. "He so cute!" the robot said and hugged him. Squee hugged him back, smiling." Zim ripped Gir out of his arms. "Please tell me were to find the Johnny." Squee was about to talk then was interrupted by Membrane. "I'm done!" he said proudly.

Squee stopped then said "The crazy neighbor man? He lives next door."

Membrane said thank you. He was about to leave then looked at Gir. "Say, what kind of dog is that?"

Zim put Gir's costume on as fast as he could then quickly answered. "Transformers."

Membrane looked at him then said "BRILLIANT!" they walked out. On their way out of the house they could hear a man scream, "You forgot my son!" and walked off.

Rough: SQUEE ROCKS!


	6. RUN!

Rough: Well it seems this is almost done.

Shim: Yes, almost…but this still isn't the final chapter.

Rough: Hmm yes.

Shim: Indeed.

Disclaimer: What? Aw well, I do not own Johnny the homicidal maniac or Invader Zim.

At the right house, Membrane rang the doorbell.

Ding Dong AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dib jumped into Zims arms, the Irken looked at the human in the eyes before dropping him.

Gaz opened the door. "What are you doing here!"

"Gaz thank God your ok." Said Membrane.

"Yea what ever."

The group walked in to see Johnny on the couch. "Gaz! Your missing the…oh hello!" he said.

Gaz introduced everyone. "Dib you already met, my dad and…YOU BROUGHT ZIM! WHY!"

Dib looked at her. "He could of helped saved you."

Johnny stood up. "Save we was just having fun."

Membrane looked at Johnny. "J-Johnny, It's been a long time." He raised out his hand to shake but Johnny just looked at him. "Why do you look like me."

Membrane looked at him. Gaz looked at Johnny. "Uncle Nny, I told you this is my dad, your brother."

"I don't have one."

"Yea you do, why the hell do you think I was calling you Uncle! I thought you had your spaz attack already."

Membrane looked at him. Johnny screamed. "It's a lie!" he pulled a knife out from the couch and chucked it at Membranes head. As the knife passed through Membrane hit the ground and Dib and Zim ran screaming.

Gaz looked at her dead father then just kind of walked off.

Johnny looked at Gir who walked over to the body, stuck his finger in the blood. He looked at it and tasted it. Gir spit it out and screamed his robot scream and laid on the ground rolling back and forth.

((Deep in the dwells of the house))

"Zim…lets stop here and rest."

Zim stood near Dib and said "Y-you humans and…and your breathing… I swear if I- bah." He falls to the ground.

Zim stood up. "D-did you hear that!"

"What?"

"Listen…"

(Hearing these voices)

"I'm telling you the Jets are better than the Giants!"

"Stop giving me bull!"

"No you shut up and listen! Do you hear that! That's a human breathing and…an Irken. I can smell them."

Zim was about to faint in Dibs arms and Dib was about to have a heart-attack." They stayed quiet but two pieces of Styrofoam came up from behind a wall.

"Look Eff, I was right!" Said Psycho doughboy.

"Ah yes, what are two doing in this place? Running, that's all we ever see."

Zim looked down at them. "Look Dib you were scared over Styrofoam." He said. Zim kicked Mr. Eff and his head flew off. He looked at Psycho. "YOU WANT ONE TOO!"

"N-no, please. Just uh do what ever you want." Psycho said and ran off.

Zim fell to his knees. "ANOTHER VICTORY TO THE MIGHTY IRKEN RACE!"

Dib looked at Zim. "Oh, come on, we better find Gaz."

"Gaz? I'm pumped enough to take on the Johnny!" he said proudly.

Dib got aggravated. "Just come on!" he screamed as the two began walking.

Rough: If anything messes with them, they shall feel the wrath of Zim's almighty boot! BEWARE OF THE BOOT!


	7. The plan to end the madness

Rough: This is my favorite chapter!

Shim: Ok.

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or JTHM.

Gaz sat down in a chair in the kitchen. "Are you lost little girl?" said a voice. Gaz looked behind her to see a floating bunny head behind her. "Who are you!" she said loudly.

Nailbunny looked at her. "I'm one of Nny's friends. I know a lot about you. You seem…sweet."

Gaz looked at the bunny. "Please go away."

"Oh, just like Johnny!"

Gaz picked up a fork and jabbed it into Nailbunny's eye.

"You know that doesn't hurt."

"Wasn't trying to hurt you." She said and she threw the fork at the door. Johnny walked in and the bunny head flew into his mouth. Dib and Zim walked in and ran out.

Dib looked at Zim. "First he killed my dad, now he is eating bunnys!"

"He is crazy. Craziest human I've ever encounterd."

"No way. Who is just as crazy so he can be scared and leave us alone? Who?"

Zim and Dib looked at each other and at the same time they said "Ms. Bitters."

Dib looked in the spot were his father's body was. He was gone. Dib felt really weird but then he got a tap on his shoulder. His father was right there."

"Dad! I thought you were dead!"

"I can't die son! There is still to much to do."

"Well…wait what?"

"Besides, I'm not sceldualed to die for another 44 years, 154 days, 12 hours, 11 minuets and 58 seconds."

"Dad you don't make anysense."

"56 seconds! Son I'm wasting time! I got to go."

"Dad, your not just going to leave me here are you?"

"Well, yes. Good luck son." And Membrane wonders off.

Zim, still amused from the show, "So, I guess we are on our own then."

Dib looked at him. "Shut up Zim. Ok, I'll tell Johnny about dating and you try to get Ms. Bitters here."

Zim knew the plan and ran out of the house.

Dib slowly walked into the kitchen to see:

Square table

Left side-Floating bunny head

Right-Gir

Back-Gaz

Front- Johnny.

Dib decided to stand.

"So Uncle Johnny you seeing anybody?"

Johnny shook his head.

Cause I can get you a hot date(the thought of hot and Ms. Bitters in the same sentence kind of frightend him) so what do you think?"

Johnny looked at Gaz. "Ok, I will do it!"

Rough: This is going to be good!


	8. A fight scene and a family guy refrence

Rough: Hey everybody! Sorry it took so long, I got a little stuck.

Shim: No, you just forgot to do it.

Rough: whatever, anyway here is chapter I lost count!

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Knock Knock…Ding do-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Knock knock BAM!1

Bursting through the door leading into the living room entered Bitters and Zim. Bitters walked in and looked around following Zim quietly behind her.

"it's a dump in here" she said. She looked at Zim. "There better be torture devices in here like you said Zim.

"Oh don't worry…don't worry…muha ha ha ha ahaha AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAA!"

"Shut up"

Dib, Gaz and Johnny walk into the living room. Gaz had her usual face and Dibs eyes were really wide. Johnny was looking sown at him talking. "And that's how I got that asshole to stop calling me a skinny little bitch. Now was one time this girl told her boyfriend to beat me up so I…" he sees Bitters.

Bitters sees him.

"Oh my darling!" she screamed and jumped in his arms. Johnny pushed her off and looked at Dib.

"What…the….hell…is…that! IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE!" he screamed. Bitters got up.

"you got something to say? Skinny boy…" she does a back flip.

FIGHT!

They got into a rumble Johnny pulled a knife on her and stabbed her a couple of times. Bitters put her hands on the wounds and they disappeared. "Desperate times call for desperate measures." he said and breaks the suicide gun glass and pulls the gun out. Bitters pulls a gun out of thin air.

Matrix style they are firing at each other. Johnny walks up a wall firing clips. Bitters hit the walls about twenty times.

Dib is staring, Gaz is smiling, and Zim is eating popcorn.

"HEY!" they all look over to see Johnny's pet fetus in a jar with a magnum. "The guns DROP THEM!"

They all look at each other. "I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL DO IT!"

They drop the guns and raise their hands.

"you know what, now's my chance, I'm going to kill you all anyway." the fetus said smiling.

Dib looks at Zim. "What do we do now? WHAT THE HELL DO WE DO NOW!"

Zim looks up at him. "We pray."

All of a sudden the fetus Jar gets shot at blowing it into pieces. They all look at the door to see Squee holding a machine gun.

Johnny looks at him. Grinning he says "Squee, you son of a bitch!"

Squee looks at him. "Hey, you think I'd miss this party?"

Squee quietly walks out.

Everyone starts laughing.

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Rough: Well love that from Family Guy. I couldn't resist. Please don't sue! I don't own family guy.


End file.
